Изречения

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." - Confucius

"To have another language is to possess a second soul." - "Владеть другим языком - это как иметь вторую душу."

понедельник, 22 декабря 2014 г.

Christmas Jokes

Для вас я подготовила подборку рождественских шуток 

на английском языке.

1)What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?

Snow! 

2) What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?


Neither, candles always burn shorter!

3) What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?


Claustrophobic.

4) Why does Santa have 3 gardens? 


So he can ho-ho-ho.

5) Why was Santa's little helper depressed? 


Because he had low elf esteem.

6) What do snowmen eat for breakfast?


Ice Crispies.

7) A wonderful Christmas song told me to Deck The Halls....so I did. Mr. and 


Mrs Hall were not very happy.

8) How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing, it was on the house!

9) How does Santa sing the alphabet?


A B C D E F G...
H I J K L M N
Oh!, Oh!, Oh!,
P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!

10) What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?


The letter D!

11) Who is never hungry at Christmas?


The turkey - he's always stuffed!

12) A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found 


by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she 


commented,  "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill 


in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."


The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, 


she didn't have any change for a reward."

13) The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, 


young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all 


know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very 


nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'


'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.


'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' 


smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'


Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'

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